we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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