Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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