shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
