i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
