apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
