You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
