Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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