dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
