Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
