When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
