So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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