Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
