Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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