roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
