Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
