Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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