wrigley field is MILF paradise
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
id be glad to
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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