So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize