Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
