I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
