i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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