i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
