quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
