I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
