I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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