Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
