If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
