Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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