He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just found puke in my bra..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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