also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
