So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
