Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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