Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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