**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
