hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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