My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I touched a dick in church today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
