No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
