If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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