I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
