Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I made him laugh his dick is mine
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
