I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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