She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize