you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
