You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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