and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
