question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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