im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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