There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
