420 ftw
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
