You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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