So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
as a side note pls kill me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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