weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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