I need help removing her.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
