guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
