My nipple is on Facebook.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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