i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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