I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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